Jam Drops
by CeliaEquus
Summary: One of Tony's culinary experiments brings on unwanted memories, of a time when he was blissfully happy with a certain God of Mischief. Will he get his happy ending? Rated M for safety. Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers, or any other Marvel thingummies, nor am I making money from this.


"Jam Drops"

"God damn it."

An excess of blue food colouring was to blame. That, and the cook book Clint had 'found at a garage sale'. He refused to say anything more about it, and Tony really doubted the story. Whether it was a relic from the archer's chequered past, or something he picked up on a SHIELD assignment, Tony didn't know.

He was more concerned with the results of his experimenting.

There was an easy recipe in the book that now had a safe, comfortable home in Stark Tower's kitchen, and had been there for months, ever since the rest of the Avengers – and Coulson – moved in. Tony, being Tony, decided after the first couple of batches that some… changes were needed. The jam drops were great; he just wanted to have a bit of fun.

The first variation was with different jams; there was now a whole shelf in the fridge devoted to them, at least a dozen jars. Strawberry, blackberry, raspberry, cherry brandy, lime, mixed berry, plum. Every time someone came across something new, it was added to the collection. Sometimes Tony would use a different jam for each of the twelve biscuits that the mixture made.

The next time he changed the recipe, he added a different flavouring. First, it was vanilla essence. (Pepper and Bruce complained that he overdid it; none of the others cared, so "The majority rules, guys".) The next time he added ground cinnamon. That was way more popular. Another time he added shredded coconut; but the cinnamon was by far the most popular.

"And now," he muttered, shaking his head. His gloved hands clenched around the edges of the tray, until the metal began to creak.

Coulson and Clint had bought food colouring for these rainbow cupcakes they decided to make two days ago. There was a lot of blue and green left, so Tony – trying to avoid green ever since… well, ever since – threw half a capful of blue colouring into the jam drop mixture, and then used just plain strawberry for the middle.

Now they were staring at him. Jötun jam drops. Dark blue skin, red eyes, staring up at him, blue lips parted…

"Hey!" Clint said, peering over Tony's shoulder. "Surprise, surprise. One-trick Tony, huh? Always the… oh." He swallowed, and stepped back. "That's an idea. You should make red and yellow ones, like your suit, y'know? Yeah," he jerked a thumb over his shoulder, "I'm just gonna go now. Bye."

_Great_, Tony thought, watching him go. _If Clint's going to act weird, what're the odds everyone _else_ is gonna notice_?

JDJDJD

A few years ago

The Avengers continued to fight super villains from time to time, wherever and whenever they happened to strike. The Helicarrier took them sometimes; other times, they used Stark methods of transportation. Natasha, Clint, and Agent still worked for SHIELD, Tony and Bruce still had their work, and Steve – the Avenger with the cleanest image – split his time between working out at the gym and visiting schools. And charity work. He loved doing charity work.

While in the cage meant for Bruce, Thor had started to sing to Loki, apparently triggering some fond childhood memory. The God of Mischief had dropped the staff he was about to use to skewer Coulson, who proceeded to test the new Destroyer. While Loki was recovering against the wall, the agent had released Thor, who rushed to his brother's side.

The plans to give the Chitauri access to Midgard had been tearfully revealed, all was resolved, and it was a long time before everyone was sure that it wasn't just another trick, covering a more 'dastardly, devious, and diabolical' scheme.

(On Tony's report, Coulson had written – in red ink, no less – that the only adjectives allowed in mission statements were outlined in five separate SHIELD policies. Which he forced Tony to read. Seven times. Each.

Yet Agent took it as a compliment when Tony compared his style of punishment to Pepper's.

"Why can't you just spank me or something?"

"How did you know that's one of my kinks?"

"TMI, Agent!"

"NMFP, Mr. Stark."

That was the very disturbing end to that conversation.)

JDJDJD

Eventually, Thor was not the only god on the Avengers team (besides Tony). Loki began to help out if he found the villain or villains objectionable.

"He considerably lacks style."

"Could she be any less original? She gives _cliché_ new meaning."

"Would you look at that helmet?"

"Hey, you can't talk, Rudolph," Tony said. Loki huffed.

JDJDJD

It took one party – and liberal amounts of alcohol – celebrating Loki's birthday for Tony to seduce him. He didn't even mean to, at first. But emotions ran high, alcohol ran freely, and people were pairing up for the night. Pepper was with Happy, Tony's bed felt empty, and Loki filled it nicely.

"Smell so good," Tony murmured, his nose buried in the dark hair. "Is this a god thing?"

"Perhaps _you_ are just used to inexpensive perfume," Loki retorted. Tony laughed, and ran his lips down the god's neck. Loki sighed, and brushed his hands up Tony's sides, triggering another giggle. He smirked.

"Don't even think about it, Reindeer Games," Tony said, and he clamped Loki's hands over his head, pressing down into the dark pillows. Loki continued to look smug, and rolled his very naked body up against Tony's, clearly relishing the gasp it elicited with a pleased hum.

"Is it your intention to take me, Mr. Stark?" Loki said. He pressed his hips upwards, and they both shuddered at the sensation. "Because I would be… obliged if you… did so _very_ soon."

He whimpered – actually whimpered – when Tony pulled back, flushed from the top of his head to halfway down his body, ringing the arc reactor in red.

"Lube," the billionaire said, and he began to climb away. Loki grabbed his left arm, and pulled him back.

"I can do that myself," he said, and their eyes met since they first stumbled into Tony's bedroom. Tony swallowed.

"Hot damn," he muttered.

JDJDJD

They were together for nearly a whole year when Loki grew bored, and decided to leave.

"It was inevitable, Stark," he said, pulling on a shirt. "For a mortal, you have captured my attention for a surprisingly long time. Few have kept me ensnared for so long. In fact," he paused in his dressing, "I believe you are the longest relationship I have ever sustained." He smiled, and glanced back at Tony. "You should be proud."

"And now you're leaving," Tony said dully.

"Of course. I am certain you will have no difficulties finding someone else to fill your bed." An affectionate ruffle of Tony's hair. "You are a handsome man; and the fact that a god was your bed-mate for so long is not only praiseworthy, but it will intrigue others. You will never want for company."

"I don't want anyone else," he said, surging to his bare knees. "Loki, don't go. We can find other things to do. If you want, we could find someone for a threesome." He winced even as he said this, trying to ignore the dull pain in his chest. "I don't care."

"No, Anthony."

"Is there… is there someone else that you want? Because if that's the case, I just wish you'd tell me."

"There is no one else."

"Well, damnit, what's wrong?"

Loki waved a hand around idly. "It is not you, nor is it another person. I simply grow tired of this. I wish to travel."

"You can travel with _me_," Tony said, stubborn. "I do lots of travelling. And you can't be bored with helping us save the world, can you? I mean, c'mon. We're superheroes, Loki! And whenever I've got business outside of New York, you can come with me. Anytime you want to travel, we can do it together."

"Oh, my dear Anthony," Loki said, stretching his hand. Tony backed away from it, glaring at the appendage. "You will find someone else, just as I will. Whenever I am required, I will assist the Avengers in," his lips twitched at the corners, "saving the world. You have my word."

Tony swallowed, looking up at his former lover. "I want more than just your words."

Loki sighed, and picked up his things. He turned when he reached the door.

"You must content yourself with those," he said. "Farewell, Tony Stark."

JDJDJD

Tony couldn't move from the kitchen counter, still gripping the baking tray. He saw Natasha switch off the oven out of the corner of his eye, and then she helped herself to one of the jam drops. His jaw wouldn't co-operate, so he couldn't tell her to stop. She munched, leaning on the counter beside him. Finally, she swallowed.

"They taste good," she said. "You probably could have left them in a couple of minutes. They taste better coming straight from the fridge, though. Should I box them up for you?"

"Nah," Tony said. "I think I'll just… just get rid—"

"Don't you get rid of them," she said, pointing at him. "You know how Steve gets when things are wasted. If you're so desperate, let me take them around to the others. Or I could give them to Happy. Even Thor might…" Tony tensed up, and she stopped. "I think Steve's in the gym. I'll just…" She opened the box he had left out, and dropped each cookie into it. "Put the things in the dishwasher after you get your head out of your ass."

"It's not in my ass, _Natalie_."

She hit him on the back of the head. It only gave him whiplash, so she must have been holding back.

"Forget about him, if it hurts so much," she said. "How long has it been, Stark?"

He sighed. "Three years, yesterday."

"That explains why you spent all day moping in the lab."

"Did not."

"Yes, you did."

"Play nicely, children," Phil said. He appeared next to Natasha, and hummed. "They look good, Stark. May I…?" He gestured.

"Help yourself," Tony muttered. "At least you asked first."

"Oops," Natasha said, with zero percent sincerity.

"Thanks," Phil said, taking a biscuit. "Heading to the gym?"

"Yes, boss," she said. She clipped the lid on top. "Planning to ogle Steve again?"

He chuckled. "Planning to ogle Clint?"

"I'm only female," she said primly, their voices fading as they left the room. Tony was alone again.

Not for long.

"Friend Tony!" Thor bellowed. Tony's grip tightened, and he heard a distinct crack in the cookware.

"Hey," he said. "You just missed the latest batch of jam drops."

"Surely you did not consume them already?" Thor asked. Tony straightened, and looked around at Loki's brother.

"They're on their way down to the gym," he said. "You'd better hurry before they're all gone."

"Indeed, I will do so," Thor said solemnly. "Are they spiced again?"

Tony patted him on the arm as he went to the dishwasher. "You can decide that for yourself, big guy."

"Until later, Man of Iron!"

JDJDJD

Tony was stacking the last of the dishes in the machine when he heard another person come into the kitchen. He laughed hollowly.

"Here I was, thinking you were supposed to be in Rio," he said, turning around. He froze.

"Who is supposed to be in Rio?" Loki asked. He was in his usual Earth clothes, one hand by his side and the other in a pocket. His hair was shorter, slicked back, and there was no hint of amusement, not even in his gorgeous eyes.

"Banner," Tony said. "Nearly everyone else has been in here the last half hour, so I thought… I wasn't being serious."

Loki nodded, and stepped closer. Tony moved back instinctively, and Loki stopped where he was.

"Anthony," he said. "It is good to see you again."

"We saw each other five months ago, when you helped us with the furniture that came alive and started attacking people. D'you remember that? Yeah. Good times." He raised a glass, realised that it was empty, and grimaced.

"I have returned—"

"Yeah. Yeah, I see that. Want a drink? I was just about to have one. Or, you know, several. It depends on how long you're going to be here." He tried not to sound bitter. It didn't really work. "Hey, you haven't heard about something bad going down, have you? If you've come to warn us, you're going to have to get straight to the point."

"No, no, nothing bad," Loki murmured. "Is that _blue_ on the bowl in your dish-washing device?"

"Jesus, you'd think that after living on Earth for four years, you'd know what a freaking dishwasher is, and call it that," Tony said, opening a bottle of whiskey. "What'll you have?"

"I would have a moment of your time," he said. "Perhaps… more than a moment?"

Tony glanced past Loki. "Just experimenting. I've become a bit more adventurous in the kitchen since you… in the past three years."

"You were never adventurous in the kitchen when I was here," Loki said, advancing. "At least not with food preparation."

"Decided I needed a change, too." Tony downed a glass of whiskey in one go, keeping an eye on Loki. The demi-god didn't even bat an eyelid. Well, that was telling. Once upon a time, he'd tell Tony to lay off the alcohol. Now, he just didn't care.

"Indeed."

"Just bringing the box back," Steve said as he entered. "They tasted great as usual… Oh. It's you." He slowed to a stop near Loki. "You okay, Tony?"

"Great, Steve."

"Good afternoon, Steven," Loki said, offering his hand. Steve glanced at Tony, then took the box to the dishwasher. Tony smiled in gratitude at this silent show of support.

"So, what've you been up to, Loki?" Steve asked, rounding the trickster and approaching the bar. "Anything interesting?"

"I visited many places of interest," Loki said. Tony saw his eyes narrow as Steve got closer, and even he wondered what the soldier was doing when he halted at Tony's side.

"Put this away," Steve said softly, touching the bottle. "C'mon, Tony. He's not worth it. You've done so well lately."

Tony didn't let himself slump. Much. "Whatever you say, Cap."

"I'll take this," Steve said, picking up the glass. "Hey." Tony looked up. "Smile, Tony."

And then there was a kiss.

Steve was kissing him. Why was Steve kissing him?

_Loki_.

Tony wound one arm up around Steve's neck, pulling him closer and taking full advantage of this opportunity to show Loki that he was over him. Steve slowed the kiss soon after, but he smiled gently, gave Tony one last peck on the lips, then disentangled himself without it looking awkward. Tony couldn't keep the smile off his face. Cap sure could kiss. Clint was one lucky son of a bitch.

"Bottle, Tony!" Steve called from the dishwasher. Tony put the whiskey away straight away, blushing a bit. Steve was a knight in spangly armour. So sue him for being flustered.

After the dishwasher was turned on, Tony stood there, wondering what to do next. Loki wasn't looking at him anymore. That hurt, just a little. It wasn't like it was some kind of soul-crushing pain that made his arc reactor feel like a fluffy pillow of candy floss. No. It didn't hurt like that at all.

"I see," Loki said. Tony panicked internally. Had he said that out loud? "You and Captain Rogers make a striking couple."

Oh, thank God.

"Funny," Tony said. "That's how it all started. We were sparring one day – and you really don't want to spar with Steve Rogers if you can help it – and he kind of swept me off my feet. To think we used to hate each other." He shook his head, forcing himself to laugh through the lies. "We've been together for… oh, probably four months. Just taking it slow. He's from the courting era, and, well, he's special to me."

"He is a good man."

Tony couldn't lie anymore, so he just stopped speaking. He wished he hadn't put that drink away.

"Do you know where Thor is?" Loki asked.

"Probably still at the gym. He loves that place. Goes through the equipment even faster than Steve, but what can you do? They're great eye candy." He winked at Loki. It almost felt like old times, especially when Loki smiled back.

His heart should _not_ still leap like that. Not for the asshole who left him.

"Well, I had best seek out my brother," Loki said. "Doubtless your… paramour has informed the others of my arrival."

"Yeah; it'll be less of a shock when you turn up." He scowled at the ceiling. "Thanks for the heads up, JARVIS."

"You are most welcome, sir."

"That's on you," Tony said, pointing at Loki. "He didn't get that level of sarcasm from me."

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, sir. I was being ironic."

"See? See what I mean?"

Loki nodded stiffly. "Well, I do not plan to stay. This is merely a visit. You need not fear further corruption of your artificial intelligences from me."

Tony swallowed. "Why did you come back, if you're just gonna leave again?"

"I wished to call on my brother."

"…Right. Well, do you need help finding the gym?"

"I remember the way. However, you are free to accompany me, if you desire to see the good captain again."

"Uh, sure," Tony said. He gestured to the door. "After you, Reindeer Games."

It was silence, all the way to the gymnasium. There were sounds of sparring coming from inside when Loki stopped them outside the door.

"Had I not left," he said, staring at the floor, "would you still have turned to Captain Rogers eventually?"

Tony tilted his head, eyes narrowing. "So long as he treated me right, yeah. Probably."

"I see," Loki said. He looked up at Tony, green eyes damp. "Perhaps I should leave."

"Stay. See Thor."

"I think not." The god turned. Without thinking, Tony grabbed his arm.

"Why did you _really_ come back?" he asked. No. Bad Tony. Don't start to feel hopeful.

"I…" Loki wouldn't look at him now.

"Because if you thought I'd just be waiting for you, after _all this time_, then you're—"

"Wrong; I am aware!" Loki snapped. "It was foolish of me to suppose that… that you might still feel—"

"Feel what? What was I supposed to feel?"

Loki shook his head. "I wish that we had not parted. Within weeks of my departure I began to long for you; and yet I knew the wounds would still be fresh, and I would not be welcome. I distracted myself as I could, with whomever I could find. Yet none of them compared to what I felt with you."

"So you _did_ find someone else."

"No, Anthony! I searched, and yet I could never find another who affected me so strongly." He pulled away. "It took me nearly a year and a half to admit that I was… I am in love with you. Just as I dared not return early, so did I dare not return after so long. You would have moved on, perhaps several times. I knew you perfectly capable of keeping a relationship quiet – you had done so with me – and so the newspapers would be unreliable." His voice broke as he continued. "It hurt that you had clearly found someone you wished to protect from scrutiny. I suppose that a national symbol such as Captain America is more than worthy of such protection. Such devotion."

Tony watched, heart in his throat, as Loki began to walk away. Damn Steve. And damn Tony for playing along.

"Why did you wait another eighteen months?" he said. Loki jerked to a stop.

"Fear," he whispered. "I would have stayed away another twenty years had I not dreamed…"

"What did you dream?" Tony asked when Loki hesitated.

"I dreamed that we grew old together. I had surrendered my immortality, and we continued to save the world until we chose to retire, living out the remainder of our days in your island residence." He wrapped his arms around himself, an uncharacteristic show of vulnerability. "The captain was not in my dream. Well," he laughed weakly, "as one of the Avengers, yes. We had all survived, to train a new generation to take over. But as your lover? No." He shook his head fiercely. "I wish I had not returned."

Tony stopped him before he could walk away any further, and wrenched him around.

"It's not true," he said quietly. "I'm not with Steve."

"You do not have to lie to…" But Loki trailed off. Their faces were so close. "Tony? Please tell me you're not lying."

"I'm not, I'm not," he said, and he leaned their foreheads together. "God, I'm not, Loki. He was just trying to make you jealous for me. He's with Clint. Or Natasha. Or Agent. I'm still trying to work it out." They both laughed softly. "Come on. I'd better reassure Cap that he doesn't have to pretend anymore."

"You want me back? Why?"

"Loki, I never stopped loving you."

It started with a sniffle; then tears; then shaky sobs as Loki fell into Tony's arms. Tony held him close, 'shh'-ing him, and stroking his back. Eventually, Loki settled. By that time, Clint had opened the door, peeked out, and closed it again when Tony gave him a look. Loki hadn't noticed.

"Would you really give up your immortality for me?" Tony asked when Loki had used magic to clean them up, red with embarrassment and muttering apologies. He cocked his head.

"Anthony, I _have_ given it up for you," he said. "I came to the tower straight from Asgard."

All the breath left Tony's lungs. He cupped Loki's clean face, just staring at him, for a long time. It was like he'd never seen him before.

"How long were you there?" he asked.

"It felt like a hundred years. Every day. But, in your time, I was there for three months."

The door to the gym opened. Tony decided they both needed to sit down, and at least there were chairs in the training room. It wasn't ideal, especially with everyone else there; but then, they had to be told that Loki had come back, to stay. Luckily, they all kept quiet while Loki and Tony made their way to the seats. Even Thor waited for Tony to speak.

"It's okay now," he said. "Loki's good, I'm good. We're all good. And he's not going away again, are you?" Loki shook his head vigorously, making eye contact with each Avenger there (Phil counted as an Avenger). "We'll tell Bruce when he gets back."

"You don't give me enough credit for being a good ninja, Tony."

"Jesus Christ, Banner! You nearly gave me an aneurism!"

"Do you mind not hollering into my ear, _darling_?" Loki asked. But he smiled as he waved at Bruce. "Hello again."

"Don't hurt Tony again," Bruce said, dumping his duffel bag on the ground near the door. Phil cleared his throat.

"Workplace health and safety," he said. Bruce shoved the bag further along, out of the way. "Thank you."

"Maybe he should watch that meerkat video again," Tony suggested, still annoyed that Bruce had probably watched the whole scene between him and Loki, all without Tony knowing about it. "That was all kinds of funny."

"You should try to make the Hulk watch it," Bruce suggested. "_That_ would be funny."

Tony's eyes began to shine, until Loki elbowed him.

"Has much changed since I left?" he asked. "Each time I return, something has altered. Now that I shall be here to stay, I would like to know anything that I need to know."

"They have some kind of four-some arrangement," Tony said, indicating Clint, Steve, Phil, and Natasha. "I don't understand it. I'm still plotting the assassination of General Ross so that we can Shanghai his daughter here for my science bro. And Thor—"

"I am well aware of my brother's activities."

"Great…"

"We do _not_ have a 'four-some arrangement'," Natasha said as Steve dried his hair with a handtowel. "Steve and Clint are a couple, and I am with Phil. We just like to watch each other training."

"And watch Tony struggle to work out what's going on," Clint added, grinning. "I can have my boyfriend back now?"

"Yeah," Tony said, grumpy again. What was with everyone being mean to him?

"Never mind," Loki whispered, and he nipped the lobe of Tony's left ear. "If we adjourn to your room right this moment, I will make you feel better."

So that's just what they did.

THE END

* * *

**Inspired by blue jam drops I once made. Heck, I'd be happy to make them again. However, with Christmas approaching I should probably stick with practising red-and-green cupcakes and (normal) shortbread. PM me for the jam drop recipe. It's terribly simple – how else could I have memorised it? – and it's so fun to mess with it. You know, if the results are good. Once, I added too much ground ginger, and I didn't like them. Everyone else did, but they were too strong for me. Lesson learned.**

**But my first thought, when I made blue jam drops, was that they reminded me of Jötun!Loki. Then a story grew. This is it.**

**In the meantime, please enjoy this definitely _not_ Capsicoul story. Marvel in the (just barely) non-Capsicoul nature of this story!**

**Hey. Marvel. Pun totally unintended.**

**(But very much admired.)**

**Phil Coulson is a Health and Safety meerkat, apparently. Sorry. In-joke with my friends. Nicola and Joanna, if you're reading this, I hope you liked the reference.**


End file.
